UWIRE asked an illustrious group to sound off on what mere mortals should do and not do on Valentine’s Day in order to score at the end of the night.

General Tips

DO These Things: Sex columnists’ tips for a successful Valentine’s Day
DO — discuss your sexual fantasies. Chances are you’re both feeling lovey-dovey, which also means you’re more apt to be open with one another. Use this time to discuss a fantasy you’ve kept to yourself. Maybe you can finally get her to dress up like your teacher and discipline you? Or vice-versa? Read more.

DON’T Do These Things: Sex columnists’ tips for avoiding Valentine’s Day pitfalls
DON’T — use this holiday as a way to pressure your significant other into trying something new in the bedroom. On a holiday that is all about love and romance, asking to knock on the backdoor for the first time might not go over so well. Read more.


Read more tips from the columnists

Advice to get laid on Valentine’s Day
For the love of lube, don’t give me chocolate. If I want candy, I’m sure there will be Valentine’s sweets a-plenty all up in my face at work and in my classes; I’ll find some, don’t worry. Read more.

Get a late-night reward for your Valentine’s Day gift
Consult your loved one’s friends before buying them a gift. Girls gab, a lot, so they know what the other one dislikes, loves and has to have. And sharing clothes means her friends know her sizes, i.e., you can avoid the possible minefield of buying her large sized lingerie when she needs a medium. Read more.

Don’t expect, make a grand gesture on Valentine’s Day
Though this is one of the big holidays that screams go big or go home, don’t expect your guy to show up with a diamond necklace. It’s college. Most people barely bring in enough money to enjoy a few beers on the weekend. Whatever your lover concocts – they made the effort, and that really is what should count. Read more.

Tips to spice up Valentine’s Day
Everyone talks about what to do on Valentine’s Day for newly happy couples, but what about those couples who have been together for so long that Valentine’s Day is getting kind of boring. Want to spice it up? Read more.

Tips to survive Valentine’s Day unscathed
I am not a hopeless romantic so I always greet the Valentine’s holiday with a tinge of cynicism. So the following are a few do’s and don’ts for those of us that are single or attached to make it through the day unscathed. Read more.

Don’t push sex boundaries only because of St. Valentine
On a holiday that is all about love and romance, asking to knock on the backdoor for the first time might not go over so well…and you don’t want this holiday to turn into a horror story that gets passed around to all of her friends! Read more.

How to become the ultimate stud on Valentine’s Day
One tip: Take your date somewhere unique, like a place with stellar food, exotic decor and ultimate class. Trust me, the next morning, she’ll be recounting every single detail of her night to all her friends, and you want to make sure you give her a good story to share, thus making you the ultimate stud in the eyes of her and all her girlfriends. Read more.

Be careful with lingerie on Valentine’s Day
Keep in mind that if you expect her to wear lingerie for you (because it’s really not a gift for her as much as it is for you), be prepared to wear some of your own… fair is fair after all. Read more.